Isnin, 5 Januari 2015

Personal Goal Setting

Planning to Live Your Life Your Way

Many people feel as if they're adrift in the world. They work hard, but they don't seem to get anywhere worthwhile.
A key reason that they feel this way is that they haven't spent enough time thinking about what they want from life, and haven't set themselves formal goals. After all, would you set out on a major journey with no real idea of your destination? Probably not!
Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn your vision of this future into reality.
The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You'll also quickly spot the distractions that can, so easily, lead you astray.

Why Set Goals?

Top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields all set goals. Setting goals gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation  . It focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.
By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals, and you'll see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. You will also raise your self-confidence  , as you recognize your own ability and competence in achieving the goals that you've set.

Starting to Set Personal Goals

You set your goals on a number of levels:
  • First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life (or over, say, the next 10 years), and identify the large-scale goals that you want to achieve.
  • Then, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals.
  • Finally, once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.
This is why we start the process of setting goals by looking at your lifetime goals. Then, we work down to the things that you can do in, say, the next five years, then next year, next month, next week, and today, to start moving towards them.

Step 1: Setting Lifetime Goals

The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or at least, by a significant and distant age in the future). Setting lifetime goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.
To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of the following categories (or in other categories of your own, where these are important to you):
  • Career – What level do you want to reach in your career, or what do you want to achieve?
  • Financial – How much do you want to earn, by what stage? How is this related to your career goals?
  • Education – Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to have in order to achieve other goals?
  • Family – Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent? How do you want to be seen by a partner or by members of your extended family?
  • Artistic – Do you want to achieve any artistic goals?
  • Attitude – Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? (If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.)
  • Physical – Are there any athletic goals that you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
  • Pleasure – How do you want to enjoy yourself? (You should ensure that some of your life is for you!)
  • Public Service – Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?
Spend some time brainstorming   these things, and then select one or more goals in each category that best reflect what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significant goals that you can focus on.
As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want. (If you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants – however, make sure that you also remain true to yourself!)


You may also want to read our article on Personal Mission Statements  . Crafting a personal mission statement can help bring your most important goals into sharp focus.

Step 2: Setting Smaller Goals

Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan.
Then create a one-year plan, six-month plan, and a one-month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.
Then create a daily To-Do List   of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals.
At an early stage, your smaller goals might be to read books and gather information on the achievement of your higher level goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.
Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to live your life.


If you feel that you're not paying enough attention to certain areas of your life, you'll find our articles on The Wheel of Life   and the Life/Career Rainbow  useful.

Staying on Course

Once you've decided on your first set of goals, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your To-Do List on a daily basis.
Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience. (A good way of doing this is to schedule regular, repeating reviews using a computer-based diary.)


A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants (some of which we've included in parenthesis), SMART usually stands for:
  • S – Specific (or Significant).
  • M – Measurable (or Meaningful).
  • A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented).
  • R – Relevant (or Rewarding).
  • T – Time-bound (or Trackable).
For example, instead of having "to sail around the world" as a goal, it's more powerful to say "To have completed my trip around the world by December 31, 2015." Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation has been completed beforehand!

Further Tips for Setting Your Goals

The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective, achievable goals:
  • State each goal as a positive statement – Express your goals positively – "Execute this technique well" is a much better goal than "Don't make this stupid mistake."
  • Be precise: Set precise goals, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you'll know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
  • Set priorities – When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.
  • Write goals down – This crystallizes them and gives them more force.
  • Keep operational goals small – Keep the low-level goals that you're working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward.
  • Set performance goals, not outcome goals – You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. It can be quite dispiriting to fail to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control!
    In business, these reasons could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy. In sport, they could include poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck.
    If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals, and draw satisfaction from them.
  • Set realistic goals – It's important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (for example, employers, parents, media, or society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions.
    It's also possible to set goals that are too difficult because you might not appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance.

Achieving Goals

When you've achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress that you've made towards other goals.
If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence you deserve.
With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal plans:
  • If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goal harder.
  • If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goal a little easier.
  • If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
  • If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.

Tip 1:

Our article, Golden Rules of Goal Setting  , will show you how to set yourself up for success when it comes to your goals. If you're still having trouble, you might also want to try Backward Goal Setting  .

Tip 2:

It's important to remember that failing to meet goals does not matter much, just as long as you learn from the experience.
Feed lessons you have learned back into the process of setting your next goals. Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, consider letting them go.

Example Personal Goals

For her New Year's Resolution, Susan has decided to think about what she really wants to do with her life.
Her lifetime goals are as follows:
  • Career – "To be managing editor of the magazine that I work for."
  • Artistic – "To keep working on my illustration skills. Ultimately I want to have my own show in our downtown gallery."
  • Physical – "To run a marathon."
Now that Susan has listed her lifetime goals, she then breaks down each one into smaller, more manageable goals.
Let's take a closer look at how she might break down her lifetime career goal – becoming managing editor of her magazine:
  • Five-year goal: "Become deputy editor."
  • One-year goal: "Volunteer for projects that the current Managing Editor is heading up."
  • Six-month goal: "Go back to school and finish my journalism degree."
  • One-month goal: "Talk to the current managing editor to determine what skills are needed to do the job."
  • One-week goal: "Book the meeting with the Managing Editor."
As you can see from this example, breaking big goals down into smaller, more manageable goals makes it far easier to see how the goal will get accomplished.


A good way of getting going with this is to use the Mind Tools Life Plan Workbook. Supported by worksheets and advice, this guides you through a simple 5-step process for setting your life goals, and for organizing yourself for success.

Key Points

Goal setting is an important method of:
  • Deciding what you want to achieve in your life.
  • Separating what's important from what's irrelevant, or a distraction.
  • Motivating yourself.
  • Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.
Set your lifetime goals first. Then, set a five-year plan of smaller goals that you need to complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Keep the process going by regularly reviewing and updating your goals. And remember to take time to enjoy the satisfaction of achieving your goals when you do so.
If you don't already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part of your life, you'll find your career accelerating, and you'll wonder how you did without it!

Selasa, 30 Disember 2014



Pembuka pintu
Soalan tertutup
Soalan terbuka
Kata penyambut
Penggalak minima
Menghadirkan diri


Kemahiran dalam memulakan perbualan adalah kemahiran penting untuk memula dan meneruskan perhubungan. Kemahiran ini perlu untuk pemimpin yang ingin menggunakan kuasa personal, ahli politik yang ingin meraih undi, jurujual yang ingin mendapatkan pelanggan, ahli perniagaan yang ingin membina jaringan perniagaan ataupun individu yang memang suka untuk mengenali orang lain. Katakan anda berada di satu majlis keramaian. Anda tidak mengenali sesiapa di situ. Untuk memecah kesunyian, anda cuba menyapa seseorang di sebelah anda. Bagaimana anda memulakan perbualan? Sapaan "Buat apa tu?" nampaknya agak kurang sesuai. Manakala, "Apa pendapat encik tentang keadaan politik?" nampaknya terlalu formal dan drastik. Jadi bagaimanakah cara terbaik untuk memulakan perbualan.

Memulakan perbualan dengan seseorang yang kita belum kenal bukanlah satu perkara yang sukar jika anda mengetahui cara-caranya. Pertama, kenalpasti orang-orang yang anda rasa bersifat terbuka dan mudah didekati. Anda dapat kenali dari mesej nonverbal yang ditunjukkan. Mereka biasanya menampakkan senyum, anggota badan seperti tangan dan kaki dalam keadaan terbuka dan sebagainya. Setelah anda sudah mengenalpasti orang yang langkah seterusnya senyum, memulakan kontak mata dan seterusnya memulakan perbualan. Untuk memulakan perbualan anda mesti memilih mesej "Pembuka Pintu" anda.

Untuk membuka pintu perbualan, anda boleh memilih tiga topik yang selalu diperbualkan iaitu:
  • situasi
  • orang lain
  • diri anda sendiri
Untuk memulakan, anda boleh memilih tiga cara yang selalu dilakukan iaitu:
  • Bertanyakan soalan
  • Memberikan pendapat
  • Menyatakan fakta


Memulakan perbualan dengan bercakap tentang situasi adalah biasanya lebih mudah berbanding dengan topik-topik lain. Ini ialah kerana ianya tidak mencetuskan kerisauan dan dapat melibatkan diri pihak tersebut.

Untuk memulakan topik ini mudah saja. Anda cuma perlu lihat sekeliling dan tanya soalann atau nyatakan sesuatu yang menarik perhatian anda dan orang lain. Contohnya seperti berikut:

Anda sedang menunggu bas di sebuah perhentian bas. Di sebelah and ialah beberapa orang lagi yang sedang menunggu bas. Anda boleh mulakan perbualan dengan bertanyakan soalan, "Pukul berapa bas ni sampai?" atau, "Bas ni selalu lewat ke?", atau soalan kegemaran saya semasa saya kecil, "Pemandu tu bawa bas ke buat bas?". Atau anda boleh menyatakan fakta, contohnya dengan berkata, "Bas ni agaknya 5 jam lagi baru sampai!" atau "Bas ni selalu lewatlah!" dan sebagainya.


Kebanyakan orang suka memberikan reaksi terhadap soalan yang berkenaan dengan diri mereka. Sebelum anda mula, perhatikan apa yang orang itu sedang lakukan, atau apa pakaian yang dipakai atau buku yang sedang dibaca dan sebagainya. Misalnya, "Awak nampak macam nak cari sesuatu. Boleh saya tolong?", atau "Soalan yang awak tanya pada penceramah amat menarik sekali" atau "Rupa awak seiras dengan kawan saya" dan sebagainya.

Pembuka pintu terbaik ialah mesj yang menunjukkan anda berminat. Misalnya, "Saya selalu nampak saudara dan teringin nak berkenalan" atau "Saya minat dengan cara awak sebab itulah saya datang nak bertemu muka". Pembuka ini lebih berkesan berbanding dengan pembuka-pembuka yang tidak mempamirkan minat si penanya.


Topik berkenaan diri anda sendiri bukanlah cara terbaik untuk memulakan perbualan. Ini ialah kerana orang lain biasanya lebih berminat untuk bercakap tentang diri mereka berbanding dengan diri kita. Walaubagaimanapun, kita boleh membuka maklumat diri sekiranya mereka menunjukkan minat dengan bertanyakan soalan tentang diri kita.


Kecemerlangan anda dalam perhubungan banyak bergantung kepada cara anda mengolah soalan pembuka perbualan. Soalan yang diolah dengan baik akan menarik minat orang lain dan soalan yang tidak wajar ditanya akan menyebabkan orang lain hilang minat. Soalan yang tidak diolah dengan baik akan menyebabkan sipenanya merasakan seolah-olah dirinya melakukan soal siasat. Terdapat dua bentuk soalan iaitu soalan-soalan tertutup dan soalan-soalan terbuka.


Soalan-soalan tertutup ialah soalan-soalan berbentuk benar salah atau anika pilihan. Misalnya, "Awak datang dari mana?", "Kita nak pergi pukul 4 ke pukul 5?"Betul ke awak tak nak datang?" dan sebagainya.

Soalan-soalan tertutup adalah berguna untuk menggalakkan orang lain membuka maklumat diri mereka secara spesifik. Soalan bentuk ini adalah soalan-soalan yang menjadi kegemaran para peguam untum mendapatkan maklumat terperinci atau spesifik tentang sesuatu kes mahkamah. Walaubagaimanapun dalam konteks pergaulan seharian, jika soalan ini ditanya secara berterusan, perbualan itu menjadi tidak menarik dan membosankan. Pendengar akan merasakan diri mereka seolah-olah disoalsiasat oleh pegawai polis.


Soalan-soalan terbuka ialah seperti soalan esei yang memerlukan jawapan yang lebih dari dua tiga patah perkataan. Soalan berbentuk ini bukan saja meminta si pendengar memberi penjelasan tetapi juga menunjukkan bahawa si penanya berminat dengan apa yang telah diucapkan oleh si pendengar. Soalan-soalan bentuk ini selalunya bermula dengan "Kenapa" dan "Bagaimana". Satu perbualan biasanya dimulakan dengan satu dua soalan tertutup, kemudiannya diikuti dengan soalan-soalan terbuka.


Di antara kesilapan yang selalu dilakukan ialah:

1. Bertanyakan soalan yang terlalu terbuka. Misalnya, "Bagaimana kehidupan awak?" atau "Apa cerita?".

2. Mula dengan soalan-soalan susah. Misalnya, "Apa pendapat awak tentang perlumbaan senjata nuklear?".

3. Bertanyakan soalan yang bersifat terarah. Misalnya, "Awak tak nak minum, kan?" atau, "Awak memang tak sukakan dia, kan?".

4. Menyatakan ketidak setujuan sebelum meminta penjelasan.

5. Tidak tahu apa yang patut ditanyakan.


Untuk menerus dan menggalakkan perbualan, cara-cara berikut selalu digunakan:
1. Katakunci
2. Kata penyambut
3. Mengangguk kepala
4. Penggalak minima


Bila seseorang itu bercakap, dia akan menyampaikan perca-perca maklumat tentang dirinya. Perca-perca maklumat ini merupakan maklumat percuma yang anda perolehi dan boleh digunakan untuk meneruskan perbualan. Caranya ialah dengan memberikan komen dan bertanyakan soalan. Maklumat yang diberi membolehkan anda kenalpastikan beberapa katakunci yang boleh menjadi penyambung perbualan. Misalnya jika seseorang itu memberitahu anda, "Saya pelajar UPM" katakunci-katakunci yang anda kenalpasti ialah "pelajar" dan "UPM". Sekiranya anda memilih katakunci "pelajar" maka soalan anda seterusnya ialah, "Apa kursus yang awak ambil?". Sekiranya katakunci "UPM" dipilih, anda mungkin bertanya, "UPM tu kat mana?".


Kata penyambut digunakan untuk menggalakkan si pembicara menjelaskan apa yang telah dikatakan sebelumnya. Antara kata penyambut yang biasa digunakan ialah "Jadi?", "Maksudnya?", "Contoh?", "Kemudian?", "Lepas tu?". "Habis tu?" dan sebagainya. Dalam Bahasa Inggeris, ungkapan yang selalu digunakan ialah, "meaning?", "For example?", "Therefore?", "Which means?", "Therefore" dan sebagainya. Kata penyambut hendaklah diikuti dengan suasana diam untuk beberapa ketika bagi memberi isyarat kepada si pembicara untuk menjelaskan apa yang telah dikatakan sebelumnya.


Menangguk kepala ialah isyarat universal yang membawa erti persetujuan. Dalam konteks ini anggukan kepala membawa erti sipendengar masih bersama si pembicara. Teknik ini boleh melahirkan suasana positif dan dapat menjadikan si pembicara suka untuk meneruskan kata-katanya.


Penggalak minima ialah penggunaan ungkapan-ungkapan pendek dan ringkas untuk menggalakkan si pembicara untuk meneruskan perbualan. Misalnya, "Ya, ya", "Ya saya", "Ha a", "Ooo", dan sebagainya. Dalam Bahasa Inggeris, ungkapan yang selalu digunakan ialah, "I see", "Really?", "Yes, yes", "Yeah, yeah",  dan sebagainya.


1. Menghadirkan Diri

Menghadirkan diri bererti memberikan perhatian secara fizikal. Menghadirkan diri ialah komunikasi bukan-lisan yang menunjukkan anda memberikan perhatian kepada pembicara. Di antara aspek-aspek yang perlu di ambil perhatian ialah pergerakan badan, pertemuan mata (eye contact) dan suasana sekeliling yang tidak mengalih perhatian (non-distracting environment).

Seorang pendengar yang baik akan menghalakan badannya ke arah pembicara dan berada dalam jarak yang sesuai, tidak terlalu dekat dan tidak terlalu jauh. Jika terlalu jauh, anda akan dianggap tidak berminat atau tidak mengambil perhatian. Jika terlalu dekat, anda dianggap menceroboh wilayah peribadinya. Anggota-anggota badan mestilah dalam keadaan terbuka, misalnya tangan dan kaki hendaklah dalam keadaan tidak bersilang. Pertemuan mata perlu ada, tetapi bukanlah secara berterusan, hanya cukup untuk menunjukkan yang anda memberi perhatian. Masyarakat barat menganggap pendengar yang tiada pertemuan mata dengan pembicara adalah tidak sopan dan tidak jujur.

2. Menggalakkan Pengucapan

Untuk menggalakkan pembicara untuk terus bercakap atau meluahkan perasaannya anda dicadangkan untuk menggunakan teknik-teknik yang telah dibincangkan iaitu: 

1. Memilih katakunci
2. Kata penyambut
3. Mengangguk kepala
4. Penggalak minima

3. Memberi Maklumbalas

Memberi maklumbalas bermaksud memberi respon yang membolehkan anda memahami apa yang diucapkan oleh pembicara. Teknik khas yang digunakan dikenali sebagai "Active Listening". Teknik ini berguna dalam dua keadaan:

1. Bila anda kurang pasti yang anda faham apa yang telah diucapkan.
2. Bila mesej yang amat penting atau berbentuk emosional diucapkan.

Terdapat dua cara untuk memberi maklumbalas:

1. Dengan meringkaskan atau menyusun balik apa yang dikatakan oleh pembicara, contohnya, "Jadi anda berpendapat bahawa ..." dan sebagainya.
2. Dengan menanyakan soalan untuk mendapatkan penjelasan, contohnya, "Apa maksud anda bila anda berkata ..." dan sebagainya.


Pendengar Yang Baik
  • · Melibatkan orang lain
  • · Memandang muka pembicara
  • · Mendengar untuk memahami
  • · Beri peluang pembicara luahkan
  • · Elak dari bermusuh bila pendapat berbeza
Pendengar Yang Tidak Baik
  • · Tidak libatkan org lain
  • · Memandang siling, jam, lantai.
  • · Mendengar untuk menjawab
  • · Memonopoli perbualan
  • · Memaksa orang terima pendapat.

Pease, A dan Garner, A (1985). Talk Language. Sydney: Camel Publishing Company 

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